Songs from "The Little Mermaid", and other ways your toddlers embarrass you

Mason is currently in love with Ariel, aka "The Little Mermaid". Oh, he loves her! He has a plush Ariel doll that he carries everywhere, sleeps with, and generally can't live without. Other children have blankies or bears. Mason has Ariel. If you drop by our house, you may see him stomping around, doll held high, chanting, "Ariel! Ariel! Ariel!"

He also loves it when I sing any song from the movie. I've learned to use this as a tool to get what I want. As in, "Mason, if you brush your teeth, I'll sing an Ariel song." Works like a charm! Unfortunately, on the other side of the coin, I never know when he's going to request an Ariel tune. Or who I'll be with. And if he wants it, he wants it, and he is not above shrieking like a banshee to get it. When he reaches decibel levels that make the neighborhood dogs howl, I'll pretty much do anything to make it stop. Which means, you guessed it! I may be singing in the cereal aisle at Giant.

As a mortifying example, the other night we were picking crabs with the family, and Mason decided he wasn't going to stop behaving like a maniac unless I sang. So I did. In front of everybody. With a crab mallet in one hand. I'm nothing if not classy and sophisticated.

Corey is uninterested in my singing, thankfully. He's all about Cornholio these days, however, and if I give him my (really sad and pathetic) Beavis and Butthead imitation, I can get him to do things like brush his teeth as well. Or if I let him pee in the bushes. That's a great motivator too.

Maybe I should have titled this post "Cheap and Easy Ways to Motivate Little Boys".

The other morning the boys were in rare form. I took them shopping (spending the last of my rapidly dwindling "discretionary fund") at Bed Bath & Beyond. I picked up some new bedding and some new bath items so that we can decorate our new master bedroom/master bath.

Well, I learned quickly that BB&B isn't the most kid friendly shop in town. The boys got restless (after all of 2 minutes) and started reaching their arms out of the cart to grab items from the shelves. They managed to throw several things on the floor before I could stop them, giggling like banshees all the while. It was mortifying.

But that wasn't the worst of it. There is a lollipop tree at the check-out counter. What Einstein decided to put a lollipop tree at the check-out counter? Yes, perhaps they will sell more lollipops, but given that they are $1 in a shop of things that are often several hundred dollars, doesn't it make more sense not to tick off the moms coming through the shop by putting a $!#%^W^$$TAA-ing lollipop tree at the CHECK-OUT COUNTER!

So the boys were whining for lollipops, which I in no way intended to give them, as they'd been urchins all through the shop. And we were waiting to check out, and the whining increased. Waiting and whining. Whining and waiting. And on and on and on. Then, when we'd checked out, and I finally thought we were going to head out and be done with the whole mess, Corey reached out, grabbed a lollipop, and knocked the entire tree onto the floor! OH MY GOD! I thought my head would explode! If it was actually possible to die of embarrassment, we'd be announcing my funeral.

On the way back to the car, Corey said, "Mommy, don't you want to sell us on Ebay?"

We bought a house!

After over 40 houses viewed, we finally found a house that we just love in Severna Park. Yesterday we put an offer on it, and the owners accepted! It has electric blue carpet! And ducks everywhere! And we LOVE IT. Welcome to my blue house. With ducks.

OK, so we don't love the electric blue carpet. But! We got $20K less than the list price, and a $5K carpet allowance, however, so we'll spend that $5K on carpet before we ever move in. The house is wonderful - the space and light are amazing, the kitchen has granite countertops, there is so much openness to it. Plus it has a huge fenced backyard with playground equipment. There are four bedrooms upstairs, and the basement is partially finished. And it has a wood-burning fireplace! And water priveleges, since it's so close to the Bay.

And OK, we don't love the ducks. But they are everywhere. There's even a duck stained-glass window. I looked at that thing and thought, "Can I live with that duck window? How much will it cost me to replace it? And what if they take that great playground equipment?" You can imagine how thrilled we were to discover that the duck stained glass window is in the exclusions. They're taking the duck! And leaving the playground equipment! Wa hoo! We briefly considered stipulating that their porcelain bulldog had to remain in the house before we'd agree to buy it, but then we thought better of acting like punks.

Time for a new chapter of our lives.

Mommy, but how did I pee in there?

We have sold our house! It is currently "staged" and strongly resembles Fantasy Land, because it certainly isn't our house we're living in right now. The wedding china has been set, along with roses and wine glasses, at a bistro table in our "dining room". It's just something to bump into, rather than something to use.

But we are excited to have sold our house! It took a lot of work, but it's done. Now we just have to find a new one to live in. We are looking at Severna Park now. Corey and Mason have truly enjoyed going out to look at houses. Corey adores our real estate agent, Jeff, and in fact talks his ear off each time we go out. I have to interrupt Corey in order to ask Jeff a question. The first day Corey detailed his "big surgery" for Jeff and proudly showed off his scar. Luckily Jeff has a 3-year-old, so he's toddler savvy.

Corey's had some great lines lately, so I'll leave you with those.

1) The termite inspector came out to make sure our house is clean before we close. I explained to Corey that the inspector was there to make sure no tiny bugs were eating our house. Corey pondered this and then asked him, "How do bugs eat a whole house?"

2) Given that Corey has a big scar down his chest, he is interested in scars. He likes to talk about my C-section scar, and he likes to hear the story of how he grew inside my belly before they cut him out. I was telling him this story the other day when he said, "But how did I pee in there?"

3) Finally, we were about to read our nightly bedtime story when Corey gleefully exclaimed, "It's been a good day! I played with Phoebe, and I got to pee in the bushes!"