Reading Circle and Halloween....

Yesterday morning I took the boys to library reading circle. This is something we do once or twice a week. There are stories, activities, and often crafts for the kids, and it gives the boys a chance to play with other children. Normally this is great for all of us.

Not so much yesterday. If they were assigned a letter grade for behavior, yesterday morning they would have gotten a big fat F. And not for Fantastic. Oh they were rotten! Mason took every single book, item, and even the hand stamper from the teacher's table. And he pulled the bag of egg shakers out from under the table and dumped the whole thing on the floor. Oh yes he did. Then Corey, not to be outdone, took a bell ringer, climbed under the felt board, and started ringing the bell. Which drew the other children in the room, who were all previously well-behaved and listening to the stories, over to see what was going on. Oh! Monkeys.

When we were leaving, Mason tried to climb into a woman's stroller (she and her well-behaved children had been in the reading circle too), and I said, "Oh I'm so sorry! He loves strollers." And I smiled. That woman gave me a look that could freeze ice on your rear and said nothing! Nothing! Oh, I could feel the cold emanating off of her. Brrrr! Obviously she thought my children were horrible. But did she have to be that rude and awful to me? I tell you, had it been the first time we'd gone, we'd never be going back.

I had them booked for a special Halloween event this morning at the library, and I'd registered them last week for it. Given their behavior yesterday, as you might imagine, I was dreading it. But given how excited Corey was to show off his costume in public, I decided to go for it.

Off we went, in full costume. The boys looked so cute! All the kids were adorable. We saw Pinky Dinky Do, a witch, Bob the Builder, some fairies, a dragon, a ladybug - you name it. Lots of really sweet costumes. Corey loved it! He said, "Mommy, do you think that witch is a good witch or a bad witch?" I said, "I don't know, Honey, but you could ask her." He contemplated that for a moment, and then he said, "I think she's a bad witch, because bad witches have pointy hats." He cracks me up.

So the morning was nice, unlike yesterday. There were so many Halloween stories, songs, and activities (including a craft), that Mason was under control and I didn't get any dirty looks from the other women. They did such a nice job - they even had little treat bags for the kids at the end. So cute! I'm really glad we went.

Corey's so excited for trick-or-treating tomorrow now. We've been watching "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" twice a day, also, which brings back good memories for me. Tomorrow we will have practically the entire cast of "The Wizard of Oz" for trick-or-treating. We've got a Cowardly Lion (Corey), a Scarecrow (Mason), Dorothy (Sydney), WWW (Amanda), Glinda (me), Aunty Em (Gail), The Tin Man (Damian), and there's some talk of a Wizard and a Munchkin as well, but we'll see. Either way, we'll be quite the entourage! Pics will be posted as soon as possible.....

Happy Halloween!

Hayrides and Cardiac Update

We still don't have any answers about my heart. I had a cardiac MRI on Monday, which was less than fun. Being in a tube, holding my breath for 20 second increments for 70 minutes, was not my favorite activity. At least it wasn't Corey. I am taking Metoprolol now to slow my heart rate, and that is helping me feel better. I am also trying to capture the title of Workout Queen, and this seems to be helping my heart as well. At least I feel better. I'll update when we have more news.

The boys, however, had a fabulous time playing with Aunt Amanda and Cousin Sydney while I was having the test done. Amanda whipped out her Wicked Witch of the West costume and ran around chasing them on her broomstick. Which cracked them up. When I got back, they were all wearing very pink frilly things - Corey was in a boa and a wig - and everyone was happy. In fact, Corey loved it so much that he's still talking about it.

And speaking of the boys having a fabulous time, we took them to Clark's Farm for hayrides, pony rides, and play time on the old Enchanted Forest attractions in the woods. They had such a blast that I literally had to throw a crying Mason over my shoulder in sack-of-potatoes fashion when it was time to leave. The pictures are here:

Clark's Farm pictures

Party Party Party!

Last weekend we celebrated Damian's birthday at Conni & Tom's with the kids. Sydney, Corey and Mason all showed up in their Redskins gear, quite unplanned. A good time was had by all.

The previous weekend Damian had gone to Hershey Park with his buddy Rob to ride coasters (my birthday present to him), and when Damian left that morning Corey mistakenly thought Damian was headed to his birthday party. With a hangdog look on his face, Corey said, "But I thought I was going to Daddy's birthday party."

This weekend we took Corey and Mason to the Hopkins Heart Party, where both boys moon bounced all over the place and ate way too many cookies and cupcakes. Corey also proudly displayed his rainbow-painted cheek to both Dr. Vricella and Dr. Brenner - they dutifully appeared very impressed. I love those guys.

Pictures of both parties are here:

New Pictures!

A conversation about death with my 3 1/2 year-old

This morning I learned that my college roommate, Sonja, lost her mother, Baerbel to pancreatic cancer. She slipped into a coma a passed yesterday. "We all knew this day was coming", Sonja said, "but we didn't think it would be here so fast." That's exactly how I felt. I knew Baerbel had been fighting pancreatic cancer. I knew that she'd decided to give up on the chemotherapy to have some quality of life as she ended her days. I knew this, but I just saw her. And the twinkle was still there in her eyes. She was still Baerbel, this special woman who everyone loved.

I saw her the day that she met Sonja's new baby, Baerbel's grandson Christian. Christian, the little miracle, who was born a preemie at 34 weeks, and who is doing beautifully. I was there when Sonja put Christian in Baerbel's arms for the first time. And I felt very thankful that Baerbel was willing to share this moment with me. That she would share some of her time with Christian with me. I intended to write her a "thank you" note, in fact, to tell her just that. But life got in the way, and I thought I had more time.

Now I'll never get to write that note. I regret that more than I can say. I wish I hadn't waited.

When I heard the news, my first reaction was just to feel stunned. Then I started to cry. Corey noticed, and that led us to the following conversation about death:

Corey, "Mommy, what's the matter?"
Me, "Sonja's mommy died, and Mommy is sad."
Corey, "How did she die?"
Me, "She got very sick, and then she passed away."
Corey, "Why are you sad?"
Me, "Because Sonja's mommy died, and I'm never going to get to see her again, or call her on the phone, or send her an email. She's gone."
Corey (thinking about this), "Well where is she?"
Me, "She's in heaven."
Corey, "Well when am I gonna die, Mommy?"

That question broke my heart. My first thought was that I have no idea. The Fontan and his heart defect are always on my mind. Of course I can't tell him that, so instead I said, "You're not going to die for a very long time. You'll be an old man with lots of grandchildren before you die." God, please let me be right.

This wasn't a conversation I was ready to have. Is anyone ready to have this kind of talk with their child? But I decided it was best to be as honest as I could. About my feelings, about the situation. He's continued to ask me questions as the day has gone on, so I'm not sure how much he's digested, but I'm doing my best.

There is nothing like death to remind a person of how precious life is. Today I am thankful that my sons have their Nanny and their Gaga, and I am filled with sorrow that Alyxandra, Benjamin and Christian have lost their Omi.

To Sonja and Jeb, and all the people who loved Baerbel, our deepest condolences, and we will see you at the funeral.

My mysterious heart

This morning I went to see the Hopkins doctor who followed me throughout my pregnancy with Mason. It was a lengthy visit, and I brought with me the results of my latest echo as well as the MUGA I had on 9/12. We discussed all my major health issues, symptoms, occurrences in and around my pregnancies with both boys, and he examined me.

Here is what this doctor thinks as of this moment:

1) It's not peripartum cardiomyopathy (PPCM), as I don't fit any of the criteria. (I happen to agree with this, as I've read more than 50 stories of women with PPCM, and none of them sound like what did or did not happen to me around the birth of either child.)

2) He doesn't know what it is, but he has a couple of theories.

3) Theory one is that the cardiomyopathy (which is undeniable at this point) is caused by viral myocarditis. This means a virus attacked my heart cells in a chronic fashion, causing the waxing and waning of heart function. To determine whether or not this is the case, I'll need an MRI of my heart followed by a biopsy of my heart. If it's myocarditis, there is nothing that can be used to treat the virus, unfortunately. However, if the biopsy comes back positive, this will give us a definitive diagnosis, something we've been lacking.

4) Theory two is that it's tachycardia (rapid heart rate) which is causing the cardiomyopathy. If this is the case, it's a treatable condition, and I can take medication to slow my heart rate and thus improve my cardiac function, or essentially recover. (This would be the best option.) I'm now on a holter monitor for the next 24 hours to measure my heart rate in various situations.

So, now I complete the further tests, and we go from there. Whatever happens, hopefully ultimately medication will help me.

Zoos and Halloween Houses

We packed up the boys and took them to the National Zoo last weekend. Corey thought it was OK, but Mason loved it! He couldn't get enough of the animals. The weather was spectacular, and it was a nice day for our family. Here's the address for the pictures (or you can just click on the "Kids Pictures" link to the left):

National Zoo Pictures

We also recently bought a gingerbread Halloween house kit, and Corey and I put it together. I assembled the house and frosted it, but Corey did all of the candy decorations. He was amazing! And he loved it. Other than the moment when our favorite gorilla, Mason, smashed the house and we had to reassemble it, the project was a nice bonding time for Corey and me. Here's the address for the pictures:

Halloween House Pictures